Friday, June 12, 2009
{ Friday, June 12, 2009 }
Why the fcuk should i post about my feelings ;
does anyone care? , all people do after reading
someone else`s blog is bitch about them.
Get a serious life dudex.
12 june 2009.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
{ Wednesday, June 10, 2009 }
10TH JUNE.
10:03pm .
& IT`S OH SO UNIMAGINABLE.Finally it`s all over . The hardest thing was last night , the sudden break down.
I thought i was fine , i was being all strong , laughing the whole day , then it just happened.
I wasn`t strong at all , i was weak , i was very weak. I let words get to me , that`s my stupid weakness , i`ve been trying to overcome this stupidity but it`s very hard.
Everything is healed in time , how long does this has to take ?
I don`t want everything to slowly fade away ; it sucks , just poof away like instantly and never come back.
Many say i can stand up for my rights , i have no problems , i seem so happy go lucky , fuck its not even through , i`m just like everyone , ordinary , at times i even face more shit then normal people , so dont ever think my life rocks alright.
2 days , no call , no texts and u say u bother, fuck u la , i know whats best for me okaay .
Loser , don`t teach me what`s wrong and right , i know more then you do , what do you have to teach me eh ? , You don`t even listen to your own dad and you want to listen to me? haha , you cracking joke ah ?!
For you and your bunch of friends ; love is just your late night entertainment. haks , something intresting on msn jst happened , loser. eww la. hahahaks , thanks priya and taspal for helping me out ! KHAIRUL , you gave me a shock when you rang me up , but see i`m such a good friend i rmbered your voice. hahaks ,funny la you . i`m not really feeling good .
imma just logg off.
Byes.
Labels: all the things you said.
Monday, June 08, 2009
{ Monday, June 08, 2009 }
Kisses are like raindrops,
such soft and gentle things.
Falling in a puddle of love,
making little golden rings.
The clear night sky is loneliness,
calling out to me.
Though I shall not succumb to it,
it shall come to me.
The sound of hatred fills the world,
It cuts like broken glass.
I wait for peace to come instead,
and take me home at last.
In my dream your waiting there,
your arms open wide.
I long to be there in your arms,
Safe and warm inside
So when the rain begins to fall,
and clouds are dark and gray,
Fill your heart with lasting love,
And I will come to stay.
Here's a special trick I know
When I'm sad and scared to go.
Take my hand and kiss it here.
This kiss from you, I will hold dear.
Down my a hand and up my arm,
Into my heart the kiss goes on.
Kisses kept are wasted;
Love is to be tasted.
There are some you love, I know;
Be not loathe to tell them so.
Lips go dry and eyes grow wet
Waiting to be warmly met.
Keep them not in waiting yet;
Kisses kept are wasted.
JUNE 8TH , 2009 . 8:56 pm.
Sweet ain`t it , yeah.
Stupid hamzah , irritating me with his stupid theories.
But yeah it was fun mad.
i`m watching kath kim , it`s darn funny , the song to start the show , totally over exxaurating.
Hot ! I`m craving for pancakes gosh , macdonalds big breakfast.
the pancake , the honey ahhhhhh !
Thursday imma be eatin it (:
I`m sick , down with a cough , flu and fever , won`t be going school tomorrow
i really want to go =(
& the worst thing is , if you go to see a doctor , they might suspect you have swine flu and send you to the hospital , so irritating.
I`m hungry , okay imma go eaaaaat. =)
Labels: hooray for being sick =(
{ Monday, June 08, 2009 }
He`s improving , he`s starting to make an effort to become close friends like last time.
Hoorayy hamzah ! He`s starting to call back , text back ( a little) , it`s good to have you back buddy ! Atleast now you don`t have to be a sad ol memory , you`ll be back to share those memories with me , Haks , just ended the phone with him , somethings you said which i won`t be able to forget.
Like how '' whenever i talk about .... you become so mood out''. No ! i don`t know , it`s just that person is useless and is always hurting you. Haks.
"you got me thinking , oh nvm .. later paiseh"
"just tell la"
" wonder if you`ll ever care for me the same way as you care for that person"
silence ..................
"you expecting an answer"
"not really , i know you can`t give one"
"i`m really sorry , i can`t answer that".
Haks , all the things deserved for being such a good friend.
Text me , yeah right.
You will get a replyyy .
yeah i`m sure.
have faith in someone you love.
yeah look where that has brought me , HAHAHA !
I like this post , so jumbled out no one can understand what i`m blabbering about , oh well , it`s my blog , only i will know what is what . Oh and khai : i`m sorry for what happened , you`r fine right?
Yes , me and hans miss you truck looads.
Kay , About yesterday , went adam road for lunch , Nasi lemak , very nice.
The private houses at adam road are beautiful , so big , just so nice alright.
Gosh , i so want that kind of house. So after adam road , headed over to ang mo kio , first went to the library , parents were borrowing books , i can`t even think of borrowing books now as exams coming , need to muuuuug !! , so after that went courts , parents couldn`t find what they wanted. HAHA, told them to drop me home first , then they went to tampanies , went down to meet pamelaaa ! , played cards , did stupid usual stuff under the block then went home, haks , watched night at the museum , blahs. I have tution tomorrow , maths. Thank god it`s at 1pm , i cooked dinner today ! Fried rice , with chicken nuggets ! It tasted wonderful.
Someone didn`t bother calling at all today , guess they were out having too much fun , i seriously cannot be bothered anymore.
Imma be strong with or without you by my side ; fcuk off.
MONDAY , JUNE 8TH 2009.
Saturday, June 06, 2009
{ Saturday, June 06, 2009 }
7.21 PM , SATURDAY.
June 6th.
yeah who cares that it`s my second post ?
Looking through those old msn convos.
All those diary posts about you.
Thinking back , all our phone convo`s they were so , diffrent.
Gosh , we were so diffrent back then , it sucks that everything has changed.
Yes , i know though sometimes we are still like last time , i still miss those fun ass times.
Our randomness , your idioticness , our pissing off each other over stupid things.
It`s been awesome to have a close friend like you, yes yes you tell me everything , stupid dickhead ! hahaks , i miss ya loooooser !
I know there are times where i hate you ; cause i can`t erase the times that you`ve hurt me and put tears on my face.
I still know i`ll be there at the end of day.
i`ve never said anything cause i`ve been afraid that you`ll walk away ; but now i`m happy to say that i`ll be there at the end of the day.
Okays, moving on , was it wrong typing down those things i said yesterday ? I don`t think i did the wrong thing. Khairul , i`m so sorry for not attending the bbq , i was really occupied with tutions and stuff , i `m so sorry , i`ll make it up to you alright !
sorry bestie , i`ll ajak you roti ! hahaks !
Hannah , i wanted to say , you`ve been really awesome ! You`ve been there for me at my worst and also at my best , i love you. Knowing you is something i`ll never regret, girl you make my daaay ! AND AND AND , i love it when you are irritated and pissed off , you look sooo cute.
hahaks , my little ass (:
Love you.
It`s hard trying to be understanding with you , but i`m trying my very best , i`m putting in every effort , are you even trying ?
Hopefully , i`m falling to pieces , gosh what do i do about it !
Break even.
Loves ,
sharen caur.
xoxo.
Not saying it`s your fault ; though u could have done more. Labels: i don`t want to play the broken hearted girl.
{ Saturday, June 06, 2009 }
6th June 2009.
2:32 Am.
& she suffers in silence.
No one knows , no one should ever know.
Forbidden to remember ; terrified to forget.
They say , people who make you cry aren`t needed in your life.
But does anyone ever stop and think for one moment , the ones most precious to you are mostly putting those tears on your face? In this post i`m not going to mention names or say who this people are to me.
When one sacrifices so much just to please you , to see a smile on your face why can`t you do the same for that person? You always thing that the other person is so unreasonable and you just continue doing things your way. That certain individual doesn`t want to lose you , that individual treasures you. You are so lucky to have someone to care for you , why can`t you appreciate it? Heartless ; you disgust me.
That individual goes out every morning and afternoon , she never says anything knowing you have your probation and you need to meet your friends and all she gives you so much space , but even then you never call her even after knowing that when you go back home at night you won`t be able to call her. And when the days you can call her at night , you tell her you are tired and exhausted. You leave her waiting for nothing , but she tells you with a smile , it`s alright , head on to bed when actually she`s crying and breaking inside. Even after you have slept , that individual still waits the whole night just making sure he/she doesn`t miss your call , that individual wants to be awake to hear you , to talk to you , to make you happy , to listen to your every problem. He/she knows you would never call after you have gone to bed , but yet he/she stays awake to wait. She`s not angry that you can`t call cause you are tired or exhausted , but you go out unneccisary and that`s what makes u too tired and exhausted to talk to that individual. She does not blame you for being tired and exhausted , she`s just trying to explain stuff to you which you will never ever understand.
She has never shown you she`s hurt or gotten affected by your words , she`s always put the matter aside just to continue seeing you smile , shouldn`t it be the other way round? You are so messed up , fix yourself up before one day , that individual whom you are now hurting will have enough courage to just walk away and never return. That day wouldn`t be her lost , it`ll be .... yours. Right now this is just a game for you. To you she`s just another girl , but in reality she ain`t , to her you are just another guy in her life , so watch yourself .
Hurt her ? ; she`ll hurt you twice as bad. Bitch about her ; she`ll laugh it out at your face , mess with her ; she`ll tell you , you ain`t no match for her . Her attitudes a one hell of a kind.
I feel really deeply for the person you are hurting , so leave the person alone.
Ever heard of karma? , When it comes back , it`s gonna hit you twice as hard and you will have no clue what hit you.
Okayy now to bloooog !
To those crazy arse bitches/sluts who destest me.
Ugliness doesn`t start with an ''i'' it starts with a ''u'' , so thanks for entertaining me by calling yourself ulgy , clowns. Okay , that was so random.
Finally i managed to put down all my thoughts , it felt so crap to just keep everything inside of you , now that iv`e typed it all down , i feel way much better. I hope the person will read this post , and after reading the post i hope they have realised what they have done.
School holidays aren`t really holidays for the n levels and o levels students.
so screwed. There are classes on the 3rd and 4th week , it`s a must to go , and i`m really proud of myself, i finally got maths and physics tution , and i have started revising on my maths and chem , and i`ve been progressing , i really hope to keep this up , after my n`s i`m so gonna enjoy, just have to suffer now but i`ll be fine after that. YAYY!
Tuje yaad na merii aiyee , dil royahh keh aakh baar aiyyyie.
Tu neh mereh saath ekk khed khedi hai . Tum terpaoohhgeh , tum peshtaungehh .
tujeh dhun rehi taah mein ; dil roya hei rahi , tu aja meri maahi.
tu hi hai meri dil keh temenah ; teri hi yaadein har lamhaa.
